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Hear the Sultry Sounds of dxprog

I was minding my own business last night, doing some programming and listening to music via my music page (this part is key). All of a sudden, the song I'm listening to cuts out and I hear this. Unfortunately, due to the design of my music listening system, my living room stereo is controllable from anywhere, hence this was made possible.

But, I have also written things so that I can control the playlist of any person currently using the page. So, I fired the following back at my brother:

Best $0.99 I've ever spent on a karaoke song.

Disclaimer - This video will make your ears bleed.

The Deconstruction of a Christmas Song

It is that time of year again as so can be plainly seen by the appearance of Vulgar Santa on my site. So, given the spirit of the season, I shell delve into Christmas related subject. Today, I will be violently tearing apart a Christmas song (no, not the Nat King Cole one).

On the whole, I enjoy Christmas music. Arguably, I don't quite as much now as I did in my younger years, but it still is an important part of the season. There are, however, some songs I cannot stand. The Christmas Shoes ranks pretty high on that list, for example. And, of course, let us not forget songs about attempted Christmas date rape. Not to mention that song that ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING CHRISTMAS SONG!!!

Sorry, that one always hits a nerve.

Today, however, I will discuss Do You Hear What I Hear?. Aside from being incredibly repetitive and musically blah, the lyrics (when over-analysed) make about as much sense as mayonnaise taking a brisk vacation on the shores of Hawaii. So, let's begin!

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Lunchtime Ponderings - Dirty Windows

I was on a journey through downtown, returning from the library where I had hoped to temporarily acquire some Death Note manga. As I was walking, I noticed somebody washing the outside windows of a building. I immediately heard an oft used phrase of my parents: "Keep your face/hands off the glass, somebody has to come along and clean those." That's when it hit me: this adage doesn't really hold any water. Why?

Those windows are going to be washed regardless of child prints on them. The dirt and grime that accumulate from dust or the elements far outweighs in terms of amount and regularity anything my greasy kid hands could leave behind. And even if these were not a factor, these panes would be cleaned anyways just because of general routine.

Nice try, parental units.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some shop windows to lick.

Lunchtime Thoughts - A Christmas Carol is the Perfection of INCEPTION

I was watching a Christmas Carol with my family the other night (the Patrick Stewart version for those curious) and I came across an interesting realization: Scrooge is experiencing Inception. Let's suspend our disbelief for a second.

Requirements for Inception - As the movie states, the dreamer must be three layers deep for Inception to work. This requirement is met if one considers each ghost of Christmas it's own layer (past, present, future). Of course, this requires a particular level of sedation. Scrooge complains of indigestion, so his food could easily have been drugged. By whom? Marley, of course. His ghostly face appeared on the knocker of Scrooge's house, so we know he'd already been there.

The time required - At the end of the story, Scrooge is surprised that the spirits managed to do everything in one night. He easily satisfies that thought with a "Oh, they're spirits. They can do whatever they like." Inception tells us that a dream is several times faster than real time and each level of dream adds to that. This allows for an exponential amount of time especially as Scrooge was three layers in.

The setup - Everything up till now is good, but here's where things get tricky. One would think that the layers of dreaming would go in the order presented in the story: past, preset, future. However, careful observation of the time each layer tells us that the opposite is true. Past takes the longest, so it has to be the last level of dream with present and future going up the chain. There is a complication that this brings: in future (first layer of dream) Scrooge remembers present and past. There are two possible explanations:

1. Most probable - Scrooge, upon entering the future, is immediately put to sleep. Upon entering in present, the same happens. This kicks him automatically to the third layer where everything can play out working backwards.

2. Scrooge is actually experiencing all three dreams at the same time, each layer's experiences adding to the previous in real time. Since the bottom layers play out much faster then the previous, all the information required would be in place for the story to play out as seen.

Whodunnit? - Given we assume all of the above is true, who is the person that started the whole thing? Who is the architect. A simple question - Jacob Marley. He's already a ghost, let's face it, but his closeness to Scrooge puts him at an advantage to know all the key points to hit upon.

So, there you have it. It seems Christopher Nolan's seemingly original idea was actually conceived by literary genius Charles Dickens in the 19th century.

Or perhaps I just have too much time on my hands...