Okay, first of all I'm really ticked at myself for spelling crystal wrong in the comic title. Oh, well, I'm too lazy to change it now :-P.
The idea behind this is pretty self-explanitory. Oh, an Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles is a darn fun game (not to mention probably the prettiest game I've ever seen).
But that's about all I have to say about that.
Okay, it's not for my own video, but I did post it (a process that took many, many long hours).
What is this video that has garnered so much attention as to get myself on most favorited and highest ranked lists on YouTube? Well, that "Weird" Al video I posted a link to the other day. So, yeah, go watch it (27 times, now) and rate it some more and before you know it I'll be a billionaire!
Not much to say except: if you dare try to spam my site again, you'd better be ready to pay the consequences!!
Title's a play off of "All Dogs Go to Heaven".
Oh, and don't forget to check out Weird Al's latest video: Weasel Stomping Day. (digg it too, because I know you are all nice people).
I have an incredibly sordid past. Sadly all of these (except the last one, of course) are true. This was during a time when good old GoldenPalace.com would seemingly buy just about anything. So I would track the stories of their purchases and true to stay one step ahead. Didn't really work. However, I will go into some detail behind each one.
The Common Cold - February of '05, I believe it was, I had a nasty cold. Put me in bed for about a week. Shortly after I got better I decided to try and sell the common cold, one of the "oldest human diseases of all time". I blew my nose into a tissue, stuffed into a zippy bag and made up a little "facts sheet". I must've still be delerious from that cold :-P.
The Darth Vader Pancake - I've had a few people ask how I made the Vader "face" in the pancake. What I did was scratched the design into a piece of aluminum foil, layed that in the bottom of the pan and the parts of the batter that actually connected with the pan wound up darker leaving the Vader impression on the morsel. I believe it was like 2 or 3 in the morning when I did this. Sad to say nbody bought the pancake and I wound up eating it about a week or two after making it. It didn't really taste that good.
The John Paul II Photomosaic - I basically cover the story in the comic. However, it did take me two or three nights to glean all those religious pictures off of Google image search. Then I just ran everything through some fancy butt software and there it was. I thought I was going to be printing my own money. Not really. The picture sat on our mantle for a while before I reclaimed my frame and put my Obi-wan Eats at Subway picture in it where it hangs on my wall even to this day.
I have sold other things on eBay (legit and not so much). One thing I attempted to sell was loz.twilight.princess@gmail.com. This was shortly after that xbox 360 address snagged a gob of dough. But, anyhoo, I've rambled long enough.
dx <><
Not trying to be immodest or anything here, but I think this has to be the best joke I've done. And, yes, they really did say that in the stupid movie. I'm still of the mind that that whole movie was all faked to some degree or another (aside from the fact that he gained weight). I mean, his first burger, a double quarter pounder or something, took him nearly an hour or so to eat and then he puked it all up? Talk about a girly man. His name is Morgan, so you know I'm right ;-).
Yes, I drew the entire thing in crayon. Crayola's, even. 64 count box. On black construction paper. Okay, that's cool.
Oh, 50 points to the person who can correctly identify the origin of the title.
I mean, hey! Why not? They already have a Jesus action figure, and there have been religous games. The funny thing about one of those "games" in particular...
I believe it was a Noah game. A nice healthy game for young'ns, only.... you needed a Doom cart to run it.
I actually feel rather... soiled to put this comic up, especially after the one my brother did. Oh, bugger. Screwed again :-P
Yeah, so I bought a PS2. For me, this is a rather huge ordeal because hating the PS2 (or anything Playstation) was like a strange sort of religion. I grew up on Nintendo, everything else was just... well... evil (though, I never had a problem with the xbox, go figure).
So, yeah, I bought a PS2 for Guitar Hero which is, in my opinion, one of the greatest games ever made. It's kind of like DDR for your fingers, but also has some really great music to boot. From great oldies to some new stuff (like "All of This" by Shaimus). Currently I'm making my way through hard mode which is quite a challenge (especially when the devil pinky won't cooperate).
I do have some more stuff in mind for my little PS2 (emphesis on the little as I got a slim). I bought the Gameshark media player for it which'll stream my videos over the network (very sweet) and, of course, I'll invest in Guitar Hero 2. And probably the Final Fantasy titles I've missed since VI for the SNES (which will always be my favorite, though).
Ah, well, I got a little long winded. Guess I'm enjoying this PS2 thing more than I thought I would ;-).
Recently, there was a story on digg about a website run on old Apple Lisa 2 computers. The guy running the site made it sound like they were all "tricked out", if you will. Intrigued, I e-mailed him asking what was under the hood. His e-mail, apparently a pre-written response, was a fitting answer to a thread going on in the story's comments, so I answered them with the text of the e-mail I got.
Enter zulhadm.
Apparently this guy also e-mailed and got the same reply. My comment was digged up, his was dugg down (despite what he may say, my comment was posted way before his). He was mad. So, he started making slanderous remarks, starting out on my own blog:
"Matt you suck. You take other people's work on digg and pass it as if its your own. Learn RESPECT "
I thought maybe it had something to do with me posting a link on digg of Chris' Reggie Pic of the Week. I had no idea that he'd posted that comment on digg. So, all was good. Until I get an e-mail from senior usb. This guy was so pissed he posted this on digg:
Diary of a BAD programmer
DO NOT HIRE HIM. Known as "Matt Hackmann" to the net community this sketchy, untrustworthy character has no business working in the IT Industry. I added some very relevant information to the following digg story: http://digg.com/tech_news/ Site_hosted_on_two_23_year_old_Lisa2_computers Matt took credit for the added info when it wasn't his!!!!
So, in the end, he made himself look like a class-A asshole. And all of it over a little comment. Wow, this is one eff-d up world.
Anybody who watched Nickelodeon around the turn of the century will remember these Verb commercials, a ploy by the government to try to get fatass kids outside and active. One commercial in particular told you to "pick a verb". Now, a verb is a word that expresses action or a state of being, not just something that denotes physical activity. There was an episode of Family Ties that had a rather humorous bit about how die could be a verb. But, I digress. If you go to the Verb website there's this creepy green chick dancing up in the top, left corner. I bet she chose smoke as her verb.
- Matt <><
